killing you softly with it’s dong…
The Internet. Not a series of tubes as one may want us to believe. Nor is it one of five other pieces that come together like Voltron to form ‘The Internets’.
Now that we’ve established what The Internet is NOT, let me pull back the veil and reveal the simple truth. The Internet is a complex network of technology designed with the sole purpose to occupy precious minutes, hours, even days of our lives while its alien creators slip into positions of power unnoticed. duh.
But even knowing this, I can’t help but become drawn in by the siren song of The Internet. As The Internet slowly takes over I feel a sadness knowing I can’t recall what a sunset looks like, but the feeling is fleeting as my attention soon shifts to a video of the worlds tallest midget. Sometimes I sit with my friends (in a chat room of course) and recall the good ‘ol days. “Remember the outdoors?” I type to them. To which they reply, “n00b! ROFLMAO!”
Three hours of searching, but I’ve finally found a free download of “You’re the Best” from the Karate Kid soundtrack by Joe Esposito. On The Internet I can indulge these whims without giving my brain time to say,
“On second thought, I should do something productive.”
Despite The Internet’s grand design to enslave all mankind under Overlord Golkron’s throne, The Internet has its positives. Where else could you sell a human liver and a brass mold of your baby shoes without having to endure the awkward stares at your local swap-meet?
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